Where everybody knows your name... and Moe pretends not to.
Famous for our signature cocktails, prank call resilience, and the occasional alien sighting in the back room. Live entertainment every week—assuming the health inspector doesn't visit.
"I'm a well-wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm." - Moe Szyslak
🥃 What We Offer
- 🍺 Duff Beer - On tap, in bottles, in our hearts
- 🔥 Flaming Moes - Secret ingredient definitely NOT cough syrup
- 💔 The Love Tester - Currently stuck on "Cold Fish"
- 🎵 Live Entertainment - Every week (quality varies)
⚠️ Warning: Do not ask for Amanda Hugginkiss, Ivana Tinkle, or Jacques Strap.
"We put the 'dive' in 'dive bar,' and we're proud of it."
Where everybody knows your name... and Moe pretends not to.
Famous for our signature cocktails, prank call resilience, and the occasional alien sighting in the back room. Live entertainment every week—assuming the health inspector doesn't visit.
"I'm a well-wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm." - Moe Szyslak
🥃 What We Offer
- 🍺 Duff Beer - On tap, in bottles, in our hearts
- 🔥 Flaming Moes - Secret ingredient definitely NOT cough syrup
- 💔 The Love Tester - Currently stuck on "Cold Fish"
- 🎵 Live Entertainment - Every week (quality varies)
⚠️ Warning: Do not ask for Amanda Hugginkiss, Ivana Tinkle, or Jacques Strap.
"We put the 'dive' in 'dive bar,' and we're proud of it."
About
Works on Contingency? No, Money Down!
Legal advice from Springfield's finest law-talking guy! Lionel Hutz, Attorney at Law (business card printer at large).
"Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film 'The Neverending Story.'" - Lionel Hutz
Tonight's Seminar
- How to Read Contracts - (Hint: don't, just sign)
- "That's Why You're the Judge and I'm the Law-Talking Guy"
- Business Card Printing Workshop - We use the finest crayon
- Smoking in Court: Pros and Cons
- Free Breadsticks - Technically a loophole
Lionel's Credentials ⚖️
- Graduate of "Harvard, Yale, MIT, Oxford, the Sorbonne, the Louvre"
- Never convicted of anything they could prove
- Office located "above that S&M place on Fourth Street"
"Care to join me in a belt of scotch?" "It's 9:30 in the morning." "Yeah, but I haven't slept in days."